HappySwashbuckler's Journal

This article is part of a column I write for www.darkcrazy.com. Check out more of my stuff as well as work from other talented writers at this site.

Post #6 – Great Movie Moments
1/12/2006

If you are reading this site, chances are you’ve had them. I’m talking about movie moments. Those little pieces of film that have made you laugh, cry, scream, or possibly….think. This installment of Starky’s Machine is not an editorial in the strictest sense. The inspiration for this actually comes from one of those little questionnaires that are constantly floating around the blogosphere. I usually loathe such things, but I filled this one out because it gives me a chance to talk about how movies can affect our lives. For many people, myself included, movies have motivated us do things with that we would never have thought possible before. They can influence, inspire, discourage and encourage. They are powerful.

Here are some of my all time favorite movie moments. The questions come from the blog, the answers come from me. It is by no means a complete (nor permanent) list. If you have any suggestions or if you would like to share some of your favorite movie moments, shoot me an email at gregstarks@yahoo.com or share your ideas with the world in the Darkcrazy Feedback Forum. Enjoy!

What's one of the funniest movie moments you can remember right now?
Happy Gilmore – The scene where Bob Barker kicks Happy Gilmore’s ass. This is one of the all-time classic funny moments in film.

What's the creepiest movie moment you've ever seen?
Silence of the Lambs - Jodie Foster is fumbling around in the dark, looking for the killer. The scary part is that we can see her clearly because we are looking through the eyes of the killer and his night vision goggles. Creeeepy !

Ever had one of those movie moments where you just wish you could crawl into the film and live there? What movie was that?
Return of the Jedi - There is a short sequence where the Rebel fleet is about to take off to attack the Death Star. The Millennium Falcon is weaving in an out among the huge warships, getting in position for the jump to hyperspace. The image is just so grand. I would love to be at the controls of that ship.

What's the most powerful movie moment ever caught on celluloid?
Schindler’s List - The scene near the end of the movie when Oscar Schindler (Liam Neeson) is about to escape the approaching Allied forces. He starts looking around at all the people whose lives he bought from the Nazis in order to keep them from the gas chambers. He then looks at his nice car that he is about to drive away in, and realizes how many more lives he could’ve saved by selling the car and buying Jewish laborers. He then looks at an expensive pen he has in his pocket, and thinks about the lives he could’ve saved with the money from that. He begins to see life in everything he has of value and it emotionally wrecks him. He collapses in a heap on the snowy ground. Several of the Jewish men quietly put him into the car despite his resistance. They want to save their savior. What an amazing scene.

What's the first movie moment you remember?
I don’t remember the name of the movie, but I was in the back seat of a car at a drive in movie theatre in Dalton, GA. My mom was on a date with someone and my sister and I were tagging along. Sorry Mom…

Have you ever seen something on film you wish you could un-see? What movie was that?
Kill Bill, Vol. 1 – I nearly pulled my eyes out of their sockets while watching this movie. I know it has a big fan base, but the darn thing just seemed to drag on and on. I have since seen Kill Bill, Vol. 2 and I liked it much better. The pacing seemed to be faster as the story moved toward its resolution. Some folks have argued that Quentin Tarantino was simply trying to emulate the style of Asian martial arts films. That may be true, but I just found the whole thing to be disgusting and boring. I think Tarantino should have made just one film and taken all the superfluous stuff (like the anime sequence) out. There, I’ve said my peace….

Name a movie moment that made you long to fall in love.
Beautiful Girls - In this movie Timothy Hutton returns to his home town to attend his 15 year high school reunion. However what he is really doing is trying to decide what he wants to do with the rest of his life. Should he continue his single and melancholy days as a hotel bar piano player, or should he settle down with his successful lawyer girlfriend and try to get a regular guy job. While at home he runs into several temptations to remain single, not the least of which is his mature for her age 13 year old neighbor, (Played wonderfully by a young Natalie Portman).
In the film, Marty (Portman) playfully yet seriously suggests that Willie (Hutton) should wait five years before he gets married. At that point she would be 18 and able to be with him. While this is a notion that Willie has toyed with in his own mind, he realizes that Marty is much too young to make a decision like that. He sweetly breaks it to her that she would be changing so much over the next five years that afterwards she wouldn’t even remember him. Now you may be thinking that this movie has some serious sexual predator undertones, but the connection between these two characters is really an attraction between two souls and not physical in any sense. This is a great movie that came along at a transitional period when I was making decisions about my own life. A truly great film….

Has a movie moment ever made you go out and do something you hadn't done in a while, or had never done before? What was it?
Bob Roberts – This movie about an extreme right wing politician doing every nasty thing in the book to get elected spurred me to become politically active…..Republicans beware!!!!

Has a movie moment ever made you reevaluate something about your life?
The Original Star Wars Trilogy – What can I say, these movies changed my life. For better or worse, this trilogy, along with the work of Walt Disney, has greatly influenced my career decisions for years. These films probably have shaped me more than even my faith….sorry God. I’m working on that...

Got a crush on an actor or actress? What was the movie moment that did it for you?
Right now my flavor of the month is Reese Witherspoon. She’s a cutie. But my greatest love will always be Janeane Garofalo. I’ve always thought that she was underrated. She has a calm beauty that I really like. Plus the characters she plays are cool and quirky. The movie moment that did it for me was in The Truth About Cats and Dogs, when the love interest is taking her picture while the undeniably hot Uma Thurman is jealously looking on….wonderful. Right now Janeane is currently starring on the West Wing as a democratic political operative working to get the new president elected. A cute Democrat…..can anything be sexier?

Do you have one of those movie moments you just can't get enough of? The kind you rewind and play over and over again? What is it?
The scene in Almost Famous, when the band is on the bus and they start singing “Tiny Dancer” together. Everyone is enjoying one of those “just happy to be together” moments. That is all except William (Patrick Fugit), who is worried because he was supposed to have returned home to his concerned mother days ago. He finally exclaims “I’ve got to go home.” Penny Lane (Kate Hudson) is sitting beside him. She just smiles and says, “You are home,” and he knew it was true. This scene is particularly poignant to me, mainly because in the past I’ve felt like William. It took someone telling me to show me where home really is. Cameron Crowe is one of my favorite directors and this scene really shows off his ability to capture a person’s feelings.

That’s it. I now open the floor to comments, suggestions, rants and threats. I’d love to hear your stories. Drop me a note!

Starky

NOTE: This is a reprint of an article that can be found on www.darkcrazy.com. Check out www.darkcrazy.com for more fun articles and commentary.

Greg

Starky’s Machine #5
12/27/2005

Open Letter To Ted Turner

Dear Ted:

I've been communicating with your human resources department for well over a year now, and I still can't get you to give me a job. I don't understand, was it something that I said ? I definitely feel that I'm qualified, but I still haven't received a phone call from you.

If I did something to piss you off I sincerely apologize. I really didn't think "Gods and Generals" was THAT bad. I enjoyed your cameo and I didn't really have anything else to do that afternoon anyway, so I didn't mind watching a 4 hour and 15 minute long movie. However, I’m glad you put that intermission in the middle of hour number three. I really needed to hit the little boys room…..

Also, that whole AOL/Time Warner thing....not your fault. Sometimes the best laid business plans don't work out. Even though I know you've spent millions sending people little metal tins with AOL 8.0 discs in them instead of improving your product, its hard to gage the fickle tastes of internet users. It was just bad luck on your part.

I still have my subscription to Time. I hope that helps.

I would appreciate a reply at your earliest convenience. I know you're a busy guy and all, but I would love to have a job at Cartoon Network or maybe TNT. I would even be willing to work at Turner South if I didn’t have to work with Rick and Bubba. Again, sorry if I said anything to make you mad.

Best wishes,
Starky

P.S. - I really enjoyed the CNN tour. I bought a hat.

This is the next installment of my column that appears on darkcrazy.com. There's some other great stuff on the site as well. Please check it out!

Starky’s Machine
Post #3 – U.S. Senate’s Battle Over Filibusters Evokes…..Jimmie Stewart?
6/20/05

Unless you have been under a rock for the past few weeks, you have no doubt been following the nasty exchanges in the U.S. Senate regarding judicial appointments. For those non-politicos in the crowd, the crux of the situation has been the Democrats’ use of filibusters to block some of the Bush administration’s more extreme choices for seats in the federal courts. A filibuster is a parliamentary tactic in which a senator gains control of the senate proceedings and grinds them to a halt by essentially talking and continuing to talk for hours. This is often done to delay the passage of a bill (or an appointment) to which the filibustering senator is opposed.
Only a three-fifths majority vote, known as a cloture, can stop a senator who holds the floor from speaking. The late Senator Strom Thurmond currently holds the record for the longest individual filibuster. He held the floor for 24 hours and 18 minutes in defiance of the 1957 Civil Rights Act. While this is an example of using a filibuster for negative purposes, the filibuster has also been used by both Democrats and Republicans to protect many of our civil liberties.
The filibuster is essentially a method by which the minority can delay action on a bill until; hopefully, a better compromise can be reached. The current Republicans in the Senate, under Majority Leader Bill Frist, have spoken openly about amending the Senate rules to abolish the filibuster, at least in regards to judicial appointments. This has been dubbed the “Nuclear Option” and has been met with heated resistance from members of both parties.
Now I know you are thinking, “Why is this guy talking politics on this entertainment site?” Well, in recent media debates on the filibuster issue, many people in favor of preserving the filibuster have used the 1939 Frank Capra film Mr. Smith Goes To Washington as an example of how the filibuster is used to protect the country from greedy backroom political interests. My interest piqued, I decided to move this film to the top of my Netflix list.
In the film Jefferson Smith (played masterfully by James Stewart) is a smart but naïve hometown hero who is appointed to a Senate seat after the death of the incumbent senator. Before his arrival in Washington, Smith is filled with patriotic dreams of the Senate being a place where well-meaning public servants work in the best interests of the people. However through a series of various manipulations and corruptions, including an outright betrayal by his boyhood hero and fellow senator Joseph Paine, (played by Casablanca’s Captain Renault, veteran actor Claude Raines) he soon discovers how Washington really works. He finds himself at odds with the agenda of Jim Taylor, (Edward Arnold) the powerful newspaper mogul and political boss in his home state. Smith is soon implicated in a political scandal concocted by Taylor to discredit and boot him from office. Facing expulsion from the Senate, Smith uses a filibuster to stop the work of the Senate in hopes that the people of his home state will discover Taylor and Paine’s betrayal and come to his rescue. His hopes are dashed when Taylor uses his network of newspapers to deceive the people of the state. Smith speaks for 23 straight hours before he finally collapses from exhaustion and hopelessness. It is only when Senator Paine, racked with guilt, admits to his crimes that Smith is redeemed.
Although this film was made in 1939 and has all the syrupiness you would expect from a Capra movie, it still works today as a commentary on the inner workings of politics in Washington. It is also an excellent primer on the process of lawmaking. Jefferson Smith arrives in Washington as a political neophyte with only his plucky assistant Saunders (Jean Arthur) as his guide, and there is a great scene in which she explains to Smith the process of getting a bill passed into law. The film also makes allusions, although subtly, to issues that still effect politics in America, including finance abuses, lobbyist influence, press misrepresentation and even homosexuality. Jim Taylor, Smith’s main antagonist, uses his newspaper empire to sully Smith’s name with his constituents. This is an excellent representation of media bias that has echoes in the 24 hour news networks and weblogs of today. I think anyone who still thinks media consolidation is a good idea should be forced to watch this film.
Jefferson Smith’s use of the filibuster in the movie paints this tactic as being the voice of the little guy standing up against the corruption of the big political powers at work in government. While this is not always true, I can definitely see how someone would want to use Mr. Smith Goes to Washington as an argument to save the filibuster. Perhaps Congress should get together for a “movie night.” Hopefully it would remind some folks that they shouldn’t use their influence to change rules that have worked for two centuries just because it would help them in the here and now. They may discover, sometime in the future, that THEY are the minority and the filibuster is their only voice.

Greg

You all know I'm a big time democrat. I know many of you are not, but I feel that this is an issue that will negatively impact us all. Public Broadcasting is an extremely valuable source of education and balanced (YES, BALANCED) news for our country. It is a resource that needs to be protected. Right now radical conservative elements in Congress are moving to cut 200 million from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting's budget because of a perceived liberal bias in its programming. That is half of its normal annual budget.

The CPB is the organization that distributes funds to PBS, NPR and its affiliates. This would gut production budgets and would almost certainly mean the closing of many PBS and NPR stations in small rural areas. This is the organization that brings you "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers", and "Reading Rainbow", not to mention first class documentaries such as "The Civil War", "Frontline", and "Lewis and Clark."

I urge you all to visit the site linked below and add your name to this petition telling Congress not to destroy this vital institution. Also, I plead with you all to call your senators and representatives in Congress. Let them know you want PBS and NPR saved.

You can find out who your representatives are by visiting these sites.
www.house.gov
www.senate.gov

Thank you for your time and assistance with this very important matter.
Swash

Sign the petition telling Congress to save NPR and PBS:

http://www.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/

Again, here is another article I wrote for darkcrazy.com. Visit the site...read the site...love the site...live the site. Oh yeah, and send me some feedback !
Greg

Post #2 – Let That Alpine Blast….Old School Style !
6/1/05

Folks who have known me for awhile know that I’m an 80’s guy. For whatever reason, people seemed to have had more fun back in those days. I especially love 80’s music. From The Cure to Van Halen, I loved it all.

I’ve caught a lot of flak over the years about my 80’s addiction. So much so that I’ve noticed myself feeling a little embarrassed when I’m sitting at a stoplight with my windows down blasting “Safety Dance” from my speakers. I usually either roll my windows up or quickly shift over to the new rock station.

But I have recently found new hope for acceptance, not in some old record store, but on the very same new rock station that once helped me hide from my persecutors. It started with a group called Franz Ferdinand with their hit single “Take Me Out”. The first time I heard this song, I thought The Cure had released a new album. Then came my personal favorite, The Darkness, who's wailing guitars and screechy lead singer brought back fond memories of Saturday nights with the guys listening to Queen. It appears that I was not the only one that was profoundly influenced by 80’s music.

I recently discovered more new groups with an 80’s sound. Bands like The Killers and The Bravery are turning out tunes that have obviously been influenced by the likes of Tears for Fears, Depeche Mode and, of course, REM. Even R&B and Hip Hop seem to have been influenced by classic 80’s music. These artists often sample parts of old 80’s songs for their new creations, and the results are fantastic. I have recently heard new tunes that feature samples from AC/DC, The Police, and even old Nirvana (not technically 80’s but still cool).

I’m not sure why this recent flurry of 80’s inspired music has suddenly appeared. Many people believe that popular culture recycles itself about once every 20 years. If that is the case, then I better enjoy this time because it means I will not be cool again until the year 2025. My opinion is that good music is just good music no matter what era it comes from. True music fans appreciate, and are influenced by, music of all types. Right now we are reaping the benefits of the musical influences of 80’s artists. The fun part is that many of the kids today haven’t heard these old songs. If you want to be the “cool old guy” on your block, crank up your speakers with some old Ozzy or Duran Duran. They may even think these are remakes of songs currently on the charts. Anyway, I’m no longer afraid to embrace my parachute pants wearing, Flock of Seagulls haircut sporting inner dork. And next time I’m at the stoplight, I’ll proudly let my 80’s music fill the air!

Greg

Howdy folks ! I'm writing for a website now. Here the first article I wrote. Check out the other cool stuff at www.darkcrazy.com. Enjoy !

Post #1 – The Force Will Be With You….Always.

Welcome to the first posting of Starky’s Machine. This will be a (hopefully) weekly injection of my personal opinion which will (hopefully) be enjoyed by you and millions of others on this lonely little planet. I plan to pontificate on many things, but I will probably stick mainly to entertainment issues.

I thought I would start by ruthlessly breaking the rules set forth by our illustrious managing editor. He specifically asked me not to write about Star Wars. But since this is the only time I will probably ever get a chance to voice my opinion about the holy saga, I just have to get it out of my system. Sorry Sean….

First…a quick review. Since most of you have probably already seen Episode III, I’m sure you all have your opinions. But as for me I thought this was the best Star Wars film since The Empire Strikes Back. The effects were great. The story was good. The acting was…well….as good as it could be with George directing. (Hey Darth, you killed Padme. What !?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!)

That said I’m feeling a bit melancholy about finally having the Star Wars saga behind me. Like most fan boys, these movies have affected me in so many ways. They even played a huge part in my career selection. The release of this final Star Wars movie, as well as the cancellation of Star Trek: Enterprise has signaled the end of an era in science fiction and fantasy. I will miss it.

The Star Wars films are definitely not the best movies ever made, (that honor is reserved for Smoky and the Bandit) but without them, many of the greatest movies of the last quarter century would either not have been made or would have been much different. I often think about how my life would have turned out had I not been mesmerized by these films so long ago. I would not have met many of the people I care about, my job would not be as interesting, and I dare say that I would probably still be wasting away in my old hometown. This addiction to all things Star Wars has also caused me some trouble over the years, but it is a fair price to pay for the sense of wonder it has given me.

Star Wars sparked my imagination, fueled my passion and let me know it was okay to dream. For that I am forever grateful.

Greg

Its nice to know that although I don't see people much these days, everyone still remembers the Swash. Thanks for the birthday wishes guys !!!!

As a democrat, I was disappointed in last week's election results. However, the events of last week have created an interesting situation. We have a republican president, a republican congress, and, probably soon, a conservative leaning supreme court. George Bush now has little excuse for not getting results for his agenda. Let's just wait and see what happens. I have an open mind. If things are better in four years, then great. If not, hopefully things will change. My prediction for election 2008 is a race between John McCain and Hillary Clinton. While I think Bill Clinton was the best president since FDR, I have to say that I like McCain's dedication to making real change as demonstrated in his fight for campaign finance reform. It will be a tough choice, even for me. Hopefully we'll all be healthy, happy and safe in four years. But if not, change will happen. We're really lucky to be living in a country where people don't take to the streets in a riot because their guy didn't win. Let's do our best to preserve that.

Halo 2.....yesssssssssssssssss !

Now, if I could just put little George Bush heads on all the aliens.

Yes folks, I'm still alive. Sorry I haven't posted in awhile but my life continues to be a hectic mess. Here is a brief synopsis of what has been going on in my life.

1. Survived Christmas - I've said it before, I'll say it again...Christmas sucks. Working at GameStop and WGCL nearly killed me but I made it. Weekends and holidays are still rough for me because both places usually want me to work so everybody else can take off. I normally work double shifts on all Saturdays and on holidays.

2. Moved into new apartment - Angela and I hated our first apartment here, so we moved into a nicer one in the same complex. We had the place painted all these cool colors. I keep planning on having everyone over, but I work all the damn time.

3. Still no regular full time job - The station kinda screwed me over on this one. I was up for a job as a commercial producer, they strung me along for about five months. It came down to me and another guy...they picked the other guy. Thank God for GameStop. I keep getting nibbles for other jobs (usually requiring me to fill out endless applications and attend pointless interviews) but still no luck.

4. Lost my grandfather - After a fairly lengthy battle with cancer of various types, the strongest man I ever knew gave up his struggle. It happened about a month ago. Oddly enough, I haven't been too upset. I think I am just relieved that he's no longer suffering.

5. Taking a vacation - Angela and I are going on a cruise in September. Don't worry though, I still plan to spend at least a few hours at DragonCon.

That's about it for me. I hope everybody is doing well. Hopefully I will be able to catch up with you all soon.

Anyway, here's something completely unrelated. I have taken it upon myself to make sure all of my friends get out and vote this year. The stakes have never been higher. We must stop the greed and tyranny that has taken control of our country. If you have not registered to vote...DO SO NOW ! Its easy. You can pick up a voter registration form at your local libray or post office.

Sorry for the rant, but I've simply had enough with these 'holes.
Learn more about this my pick.
www.johnkerry.com

Later,
Greg

It is no secret to those who know me that I am not a big Christmas fan. In fact, I pretty much hate it (or at least what it has become). I am concocting a Christmas rant, but I will allow all the joyousness to subside before I blast away.

Thursday:

3:00 AM - 12:30 PM ---- Work at TV Station
12:30 PM - 10 PM ---- Drive to Dalton to eat turkey.
10 PM - 11:30 PM ---- Drive back.

Friday:

12:00 AM - 2:00 AM ---- Sleep
3:30 AM - 12:30 PM ---- Work at TV Station
1:30 PM - 10:00 PM ---- Work at GameStop
11:00 PM - 2:00 AM ---- Sleep

Saturday:

3:30 PM - 12:30 PM ---- Work at TV Station
1:30 PM - 10:00 PM ---- Work at GameStop
11:00 PM - 2:00 AM ---- Sleep

Sunday:
3:30 AM - 12:30 PM ---- Work at TV Station

Sunday 1:30 PM - Tuesday 10:00 AM ---- Sleep, Sleep, Sleep...

In exactly one year from today, we will vote to elect a president. The need for people to get out and vote has never been more vital. Remember to register, even if you're a Republican......well, not if you're a Republican.......

I went to see Kill Bill, Vol. 1 on Friday........
I know there will be many angry vibes sent my way, but I personally think it was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The story was just stupid, and there is simply no need for all that gore, even in a QT movie. The movie was only 1 hour and 50 minutes long, but I was ready to leave after the little 15 minute anime sequence. I managed to stick it out and finish this disgusting piece of celluloid, but I would personally like to find QT and kick his ass to get my six bucks back.

I've been working at GameStop for about a month now. So far things are going okay. The job is a bit boring but on the whole its not that bad. We get some pretty interesting customers. The other night we had a guy come to sell his Playstation 2. He smelled like he had been smoking weed in his car for the past six hours. We had to spray down the PS2 with glass cleaner to get the smell out of it. I think I may be getting a job as a weekend editor at WGCL-TV soon. Thanks

monsterpissed.

I got some bad news from the doctor the other day. Apparently I'm having some liver problems. The doc has put me on a VERY strict diet...absolutely as few carbohydrates as possible. So far I've been adapting pretty well. I get to eat lots of meat and veggies, but no bread or anything with sugar in it. This morning I had to go in for an ultrasound test. I was examined by a very lovely nurse. Things aren't all bad.......

My grandfather is doing much better. I saw him last night and he looked great. I also saw my cousin who lives in Sydney. He was here for a family visit. I guess everybody has a "cool" cousin...you know, somebody that was always much cooler than you were. Mark was always that way to me. He's still pretty cool, but these days I don't resent him for it.

Ticket prices were posted for DragonCon the other day. The day after the con, I told myself I was not going to waste the money this year. I figured I would just go for the day this time. But after some thought I have decided that the biggest problem with DragonCon this year was my attitude and I should give it another try. (even though the panels did suck) Besides, I figure I couldn't get the jokers I go to the con with to go anywhere else. I personally think we should all head to Disney World.

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<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/carnationgirl/1036391736_CMyDocumentsRick.gif" border="0" alt="Rick"> You are Rik! Played by <a href=http://us.imdb.com/Name?Mayall,+Rik>Rik Mayall</a>, you enjoy free-form poetry, Clif Richard songs and protesting against Thatcher's facist regime. La-di-da!
 <a href="http://quizilla.com/users/carnationgirl/quizzes/What%20Young%20Ones%20character%20are%20you%3F/"> What Young Ones character are you?</a> brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a>

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

I just got the news today that I didn't get that job at Emory I was hoping for. I'm pretty bummed out about it. However I've decided that I will take a job at GameStop for the time being. I would like to thank

booksbeare for helping me with that. Thanks dude, I really appreciate it. By the way, I've always thought you were a cool guy, despite what you may have heard or thought. Enough said.....

( The Pity Party Continues.... )

I have officially decided that in all my future correspondence, George W. Bush will be referred to as the Great Chicken Chowderhead of the Universe.

Thank you for your attention.

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